- Charles has autism
- Special needs children need to excel
- Special Olympics
John Ackiss (stepfather):
My name is John Ackiss and this is my stepson Charles Spagnuolo II (like the number 2). From what I understand, ‘cause I wasn’t around at the time, but around the age of 18 months he had a regression function where he lost words. You know, kinda the classic autistic spectrum of things, though he’s never been formally diagnosed with autism. Speech seems to be his major dysfunction. He seems to understand very well and he articulates his own needs quite a bit when it comes to things that are of interest to him. Social skills are lacking and somewhat immature, very eager for acceptance and pleasing other people, very little time for discord or strife, uncomfortable social situations. His strengths definitely lie in a sense of order, things that are supposed to be will be. If the teacher tells him to take this letter to room 222 there’s not much that’s gonna get in his way.
The order in his life can be very positive in a sense that, as a 19-year-old boy living at home, uh, man, living at home, there’s been a few hours a day over the past five or six years where he’s been on his own and has never, not once, had a problem with doing something wrong. Maybe that might we have done as a child had we been left alone in those age groups but not with Charles, there would be no…he does not lie, he does not cheat, steal. It’s always very positive and that’s, uh, I would consider those his definite strengths.
The order seems to permeate the things that he does in the sense that if, say McDonald’s came out with seven toys, he wants all seven toys, if there’s 18 Scooby-Doo movies he needs all of the movies and he even has been known to make a place for the ones he doesn’t have, to - kinda laying in wait to get those and fill that, that space.
Alyne Ellis (interviewer):
Charles, did I hear you say “no” there to that?
(Charles laughed)
John Ackiss:
Well that was a while ago when he was interested in the kids’ meals, you know he’s past that now.
(Charles laughs)
Tell me about your collection.
John Ackiss:
What do you like Charles?
Charles Spagnuolo:
Movies.
John Ackiss:
He said movies. What else Charles?
Charles Spagnuolo:
Games.
John Ackiss:
And games. Like – video games? Anything else?
Charles Spagnuolo:
Books.
John Ackiss:
Books. He has a lot of books, especially ones that have a series like Lemony Snickets, Harry Potter, uh, again it’s that one, two, three, four, five, six. It really appealed to him.
Alyne Ellis (interviewer):
So Charles what is your favorite series of books?
John Ackiss:
Charles, you have to put the phone to your ear buddy. What’s your favorite series of books?
Charles Spagnuolo:
Harry Potter.
Alyne Ellis (interviewer):
What about movies, Charles? What’s your favorite movie?
Charles Spagnuolo:
Halloween.
John Ackiss:
Halloween? Number Nine? (John laughs) It’s interesting, when Charles does say number, I dunno, number Seven’s coming out tomorrow, he will watch One through Six today. Or, you know, in the, the immediate period preceding that so that he can be prepared for Number Nine. It’s pretty cool. (John laughs)
Alyne Ellis (interviewer):
This is gotta to help in school in some ways, I would think.
Charles Spagnuolo:
Yeah.
John Ackiss:
Assignments, teachers’ expectations. When something needs to be done he does not forget it. That really never happens with Charles, he, he’s very organized in that sense and needs to have those things, you know, in place so that he has some, some degree of, uh, I guess, satiation about the whole endeavour. He does not like to have missed expectations.
Alyne Ellis (interviewer):
But how are you going to use this skill in terms of his future?
John Ackiss:
Well I think that, when it comes to Charles’s future employment, um, and his, any transferable skills there are gonna need to be two major things that are involved in it. Number one is a very orderly and one, two, three, four, five process, be it, uh, taking something, putting it in an envelope, putting a stamp on it, addressing it, I think he would be perfect at that. And as well not a real conflicted environment, it needs to be harmony, a reasonable expectation and then he is allowed to form that expectation 'cause when that happens, he excels. Pressure, any loud noises or if someone’s, what I would say “mean to him,” that doesn’t go over very well. He overreacts to those situations and it would not be productive.
So, I mean, as his stepfather I’ve learned that you just don’t do that, don’t ever give him any over verbal stimulation where it could kinda wreck the whole shop, maybe direct comments that are kind and benign with, uh, you know, an expectation or an immediate kind of right in front of his face, not open-ended things that say “if you don’t do this, then that”.
Part of his educational plan over the years has been to not repeat things, to not mimic other children or family members, which he’s prone to do, and so if that happens - it might be a push-up, you know, “give me five push-ups, or ten push-ups,” which will solve the problem right away, it’s over and he’s cool. If there’s anything over his head he just doesn’t really like that and I guess I noticed that about day 2, (Charles laughs) you know, that this is, you know, you’re just not gonna be able to use, what, maybe what you grew up with but you have to kinda think what plays to his strengths and weaknesses, you know, better.
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Well I think everything kinda boils down to the Golden Rule, treat other people like you would like to be treated, and if you’re the one who’s the most intelligent in the room you should be able to think that, “OK, this child or young man excels with this, this and this and, you know, doesn’t do well with that and the other thing”. Do the things that they excel with and try to play to their strengths.
And I guess I’ve learned a lot about…there are things you can change and things that you can’t. You know, he has speech patterns that have been there since he was four years old and no matter how many teachers and how many parents tell him or show him or direct him or give him an IEP, somehow is just hard wired and the more you can love, the more you can understand then you’re really gonna excel.
Um, I guess about, I dunno, when I was a younger man if someone had said you’d be responsible or partly responsible for a special needs child I would have kinda cringed and said “that’s, that’s gonna be tough, that’s, that’s gonna be too much”. Now if someone said John, you’re about to have a child and she’s gonna have Down Syndrome I’d go “Cool!”, I mean they’re just that special, that different and he’s taught me as much as I’ve ever taught him and if, if parents can, you know, continue to play to those strengths and get them involved in things that give them…get them out of their isolation, out of their loneliness, out of – out of the corner, out of the – basically in, into situations where they shine, they’re gonna shine, every time, and that can be Special Olympics or a youth group or, um, it’s just been really kinda neat to watch him excel in those things.
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Alyne Ellis (interviewer):
Tell me now about Special Olympics. This has made a huge difference in his life, right?
John Ackiss:
When I met Charles and his Mom and we became an item, or together, I should say, ah, I asked Charles would he like to participate in, in basketball. And his immediate response was “no”. He had, ah, been involved in baseball with, um, I guess you would say a “normal” team and [speaking to Charles] Charles, if I’m wrong tell me I’m wrong, OK, you didn’t do so well, the team, team really didn’t win and Charles is real competitive, he likes to win, don’t you Charles?
Charles Spagnuolo:
Yeah.
John Ackiss:
Yeah. And with Charles, um, probably being one of the lesser producers on the team it just caused him a lot of strife. And so he just wasn’t interested initially in, in basketball because he, I guess he was maybe afraid that that might repeat itself which is, you know, normal. And when we talked more and more about it and I said well just go there and take a look and as we got in there we were kind of, uh, we showed up a week late basically and our city that we lived in, Chesapeake, didn’t have a program so we had to go to Virginia Beach, maybe 15 miles down the road. And we went in there and the guy said well, you know, he’s welcome to participate, get the physical, get this and that but the problem is we don’t have enough coaches. So I said “well, look I’ve gotta bring him to every practice anyway and I’ve got to sit here and wait for him, I’ll be glad to help you guys coach”. I had never done that before.
And, and – we did. We started the team with like the last five kids to show up and we took it all the way to the State title, he was impressive, um, probably one of the stars in the team and that whole competitive nature came out in him and it was pretty neat to see. And then he was requesting “more, more, what can we do next?” and so we spent two years, um, playing basketball in Virginia Beach when, uh, one of the leaders I guess in that program who lived in Chesapeake decided that, you know, Chesapeake needed a program, it’s a big city, and they should have their own Special Olympics so she took it upon herself to gather up some people and to start this Chesapeake program. And I was one of those people and so since that time I’ve been on the Board of Directors and as well as a coach in the city of Chesapeake and now we do soccer, which is going on right now, and basketball, which will start in the winter, and track and field as well as softball in the spring.
Alyne Ellis (interviewer):
And how has all that helped Charles?
John Ackiss:
It’s given him, um a lot of social interaction with, um, he knows kids now from across the State, of course it’s obvious in his local city he’s building relationships, in the cities adjacent to us he’s playing against these kids, meeting these kids, going to dances with these kids. And then when we got to State tournaments he knows kids from all over the State of Virginia that he would just never have been exposed to, um, any other way.
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